Double Blind Experiments in Dating

I swear to you, ­­and I stand by it, men are incapable of selecting good profile pics of themselves. I’ve been on five dates so far (I know, I’ve only posted three. Give a girl a break! It takes a lot of time and energy to respond to these boys every day, PLUS write up the dates and post them for you. I promise #4 for tomorrow, though) and four out of the five have been remarkably better looking in person than in their profile pics. The fifth one in question? His pics were just so small and untelling about him that I couldn’t form an opinion one way or the other. I was really very surprised that I even recognized him when we met for the date.

The experiment I went on this past Thursday was perfect for this blog, for so many reasons, (you can read about this fantastically awkward date later this week) but high on the list of importance is the fact that in his online picture he looked overweight, old, and SO unattractive. In real life, he was actually very similar looking to a guy I used to date! Not hot, but certainly not as ugly as I was lead to believe by his profile picture. And he definitely was not overweight.

So why are guys so incapable of choosing good profile pictures? Meghan McBlogger has her own theories about the 20 Male Poses of Facebook. But I spoke about this with my best friend, and she said even her boyfriend always pics the worst photos of himself for Facebook. When she confronted him about this, he said that he really liked the pictures because of where he was when they were taken. STOP! Ok, really? I know girls are shallow and superficial when it comes to judging appearances. And if you didn’t already know that, then you should read this article about how an average woman appeared nude in Glamour Magazine with her belly fat hanging out. Read the comments for full impact, but basically women thought it was refreshing to see a heavy woman who is comfortable in her weight, and men thought she was a SUPER HOT NAKED CHICK. Let’s be real, we ladies have too-high standards for appearance, even against ourselves. So of course we have higher standards for pictures of guys we may be interested in.

Sure, I can see why you like this picutre... I just can't tell what you look like from it... or even WHICH of the two people in this picture you are.

I look back at Experiment #4, and the Subject looked completely and unrecognizably different from his pictures online. I was lucky that when he showed up I was texting a friend, so he walked up to me and asked for me by name. Otherwise I would have looked directly at him all night and never though this was the guy I was supposed to be meeting. So when I take a look at the pictures he chose, they’re all really awesome because of their location, not because they accurately or flatteringly depict what the Subject looks like.

So which is better? Pictures that show you in cool places, or pictures that make you look really attractive? I say why not both. The dating site I use allows twelve pictures to be uploaded, and I have a mixture of face shots that I think highlight my aesthetic strengths, AND pictures that show me having fun with friends in great places, but don’t really zoom in much on what I look like. So I take away two important lessons from this realization: First, for all you guys, before you post your picture, don’t be afraid to ask a female friend whether a picture of you actually looks like you, and whether it looks flattering or awkward. Second, for all you ladies trying the online dating thing, you cannot judge a man by his profile picture. I mean it. If I were being finicky about physical attraction, I would not have gone on any of the five Experiments that I have gone on so far, and I have been pleasantly surprised by the physical appearance of all five Subjects. So ladies, the profile picture is a general indicator, but by no means an accurate portrayal of the man who may win your heart.