Getting to know the Subjects
As I’ve touched on before, embarking on this project requires talking to tons of potential Subjects. The current dating site I subscribe to, AllMyFriendsAreGettingMarriedAndNowIFeelIHaveToGetMarriedToo.com, is a pretty structured site that prompts communication in a notably controlled way. Before I can even see the profile of a man, I have to have a certain level of compatibility with him. Then, if we both have an interest in each other’s profiles, we can mutually respond to questions. If the questions phase goes well, web-based, personal-contact-info-free communication begins.
This means between the various stages, and the actual email volleying, I will send upward of 25 messages a day. This project has practically become a second job for me, and it’s only been a week!
Sometimes communication is really easy. There’s one Subject I’ve been talking to who cracks me up! He’s currently on a Safari in the Great Recession, hunting for the elusive Job. Here’s an example of his humor, taken from a conversation where we were discussing getting together:
Are you available all next week for both? Any preference on the day? My calendar is kind of like one that belongs to a hobo. I wake up at 10… maybe look for some cans or something. Eat any bit of food I can find. Maybe take a nap (or pass out from malnutrition as you normal folk like to call it). Maybe hop on a rail car to another city and get chased by baton wielding railroad police. It’s quite the adventure every day!So maybe it’s not side-splitting, but when you’re reading at your desk on a hungover Friday morning, it’s enough to make you nearly blow coffee out your nose. He and I already have an Experiment scheduled, and I think he’s going to be loads of fun.
The trick comes when there is a Subject who really isn’t very interesting. No one yet has been unbearable – after all, we’ve been algorithmically matched, so we obviously have some things in common, right? But some of the guys are so dry. it’s like having a conversation with my long-lost aunt, carrying on about very cliché things like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain. And I’m not even joking, I made a joke about the below, cheesy dating song to one of the Subjects, and he said my interests were “poetic.” For god’s sake, man, have you never watched Blind Date???
But this isn’t about finding the perfect person for me. It’s about going on first dates. So even if a Subject bores me to tears/ death/general insanity, I still respond to his communications. I’m very open to the possibility that someone who cannot write entertaining emails can be remarkably entertaining in real life. After all, I thought conversation with Subject #1 was going to be like pulling teeth to get him to talk, and it turned out we had no problem chit-chatting for two hours!
Small tangent: So far I’d estimate that about one half of the potential Subjects I’ve spoken with have been to Costa Rica in the past three years. I’m telling you, it’s the new Vegas. A fair number work in IT or as Engineers of various fields. I think these trends tell me more about myself and the kinds of guys I am matched with than they do about individual Subjects.
Another Experiment post for tomorrow! This guy is a bit more interesting than Subject #1. Tell your friends!
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